Celebrity Woes !!!!

I was born in a country side which was reasonably green and I remember rainy days in June and July when I used to carry my umbrella to school.

I came to know that we were from lower middle class when I saw my father removing two rooms for the "scale of economy" from the sketch of our planned new house submitted by the Engineer (Those days the genre called architects were not born).

He also started driving a scooter very late in his career.

There was nothing unusual I did at School or College.

But when I held a racket in my hand for the first time I realised that it was actually an organ of mine which did not take birth with me.
As I thoroughly enjoyed I changed the level from school to college to district and finally became the national champion.
Initial International tours were not very eventful.
Then during one occasion when the top three seeds withdraw due to stomach upset and calf muscle pull, I became the All England Champion.

That changed my life; I realised that I am a celebrity now!!
Then I stopped holding rackets in my hand and it was replaced by soft drink bottles, snickers and mobile phones. My coach and my elementary school teachers took to selling my child hood profile remembering in detail, frame-to-frame, how naughty a child I was(Sic)!!!!

Soon I started selling even cigarettes and pan masala through TV commercials.
Since there was no time for practice I remained ex-champion.
But what surprised me was that there was still a clout around me and my celebrity status was kept intact by the manufacturers of cigarettes and soft drinks, though by skills steadily eroded.
I was the only one who had any doubt about my capability and the crowd around me stood firm.

Magazines still flaunted my pictures on glossy sheets- Yes I was a celebrity.
I never did any social service or charity other than walking with some models on a ramp for some product.
But for that I took a hefty cheque. 

And then one day I received the shock of my life. It was an initiative taken by a  powerful political leader from my district to prove his weight in the party.
I was nominated to Rajyasabha. I never knew or even now know the difference between Rajyasabha and Loksabha. I, in fact even wonder  why there are two 
houses ?
I watched with amusement the media and people around me shouting slogans on the day of my nomination.
I have no I idea what I can do in Rajyasabha or what they expect me to do?
So when the media asked me it came naturally to me that my goal shall be the upliftment of sports in our country. 

Well I was shocked once again to see the impact of that stupid statement of mine.
The roar from the crowd was deafening!!!
The news papers ran headlines of my statement next day beside my smiling photo.
I shook my head in disbelief.
What do these people want from me ? Why are they not leaving me alone?
Since I didn't feel I belong there I hardly went to the Rajyasabha. I didn't care if somebody bothered.
I was always busy selling shampoos and mobile phones.
These guys continue to produce them and insist to have my anatomy next to their product.

And now, I am disgusted.....
The same media, the same bunch of fanfare who posed in front of cameras with me are crying foul.
They are complaining.........The very guys.......
The same wretched media are running headlines that WE, the celebrities have poor attendance in the house

How could they....ever......
Thousands of blue blistering barnacles.......thundering typhoons !!!!!!